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Marriage
Matters
Bringing
Up Great Kids
Every
Christian family should illustrate to the world the power and
excellence of Christian influence. God designs that every
family on earth shall be a symbol of the family in heaven, and
parents should realize their accountability to keep their
homes free from every taint of moral evil. Fathers and mothers
should teach the infant, the child, and the youth, of the
love of Jesus. Let the first baby lispings be of Christ.
The father, the priest of the family, if he is connected with
God, will feel a divine charge to set himself apart to the
grand and elevating work of saving the souls of his children.
But
the work of parents, which means so much, is greatly
neglected. Awake, parents, from your spiritual slumber, and
understand that the very first teaching the child receives is
to be given to him by you. You are to teach your little ones
to know Christ. This work you must do before Satan sows his
seeds in their hearts. Christ calls the children, and they are
to be led to him, educated in habits of industry, neatness,
and order. This is the discipline Christ desires them to
receive.
Parents,
your children's future success depends on the home discipline
they receive during their early years. If you have allowed
Satan to discipline and control them, if you have not taken up
and fulfilled your God given responsibilities, if you have
neglected to seek the Lord for wisdom to enable you to
co-operate with him in the work of training your children, if
you have not taught them what it means to do the will of God, their
lives will testify to your neglect.
The
lessons given during the first years of life determine the
future of the child. In husbandry, plants need constant and
diligent care at the very first, that they may grow
symmetrically. So it is with children. From the earliest
moments of their life the children are learners. They are
built up by what they see and hear, and parents are sowing
the seed that will yield a harvest, either for weal or for
woe. If pleasant scenes are kept before them in the home, they
will become familiar with Christian courtesy, kindness, and
love. But if parents are Christians in name only, and are not
doers of the word, they place on their children their own
superscription, and not the superscription of God. Children
long for something to impress the mind. For Christ's sake,
parents, give their hungering, thirsting souls something upon
which to feed.
Children
are naturally active, and if parents do not furnish them with
employment, Satan will invent something to keep them busy in
an evil work. Therefore train your children to useful work.
But do not feel it your duty to make their lives unpleasant.
The unpleasantness will come fast enough. Bring all the
pleasure possible into your exercises as teacher and educator
of your children. Encourage them to make a companion of you.
Sinful impulses, sinful inclinations, and objectionable habits
you will surely find in your children; but if you encourage
them to seek your society, you can give a right mold to
their tastes and feelings, and banish discontent, repining,
and rebellion. Overcome their pride by giving them an example
of meekness and lowliness of heart.
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`The
question was asked . . . "why is it you have such control over your
children and those you bring up?'' The answer was given, ``Gain their
confidence and love, and you can have perfect control.'' (1SAT43) |
A
woe rests upon parents who have not trained their children to
be God-fearing, but have allowed them to grow to manhood and
womanhood undisciplined and uncontrolled. During their own
childhood they were allowed to manifest passion and
willfulness and to act from impulse, and they bring this same
spirit into their own homes. They are defective in temper, and
passionate in government. Even in their acceptance of Christ
they have not overcome the passions that were allowed to rule
in their childish hearts. They carry the results of their
early training through their entire religious life. It is a
most difficult thing to remove the impress thus made upon the
plant of the Lord; for as the twig is bent, the tree is
inclined. If such parents accept the truth, they have a
hard battle to fight. They may be transformed in character,
but the whole of their religious experience is affected by the
lax discipline exercised over them in their early lives. And
their children have to suffer because of their defective
training; for they stamp their faults upon them to the third
and fourth generation.
This
is a serious question, and one that should be carefully and
prayerfully studied by those who have children, that they may
know how to educate their little ones to be Christians. How
many parents there are who are too careless and selfish to try
to overcome the rude traits in their own characters lest they
be perpetuated in the characters of their children. Such
parents need to think solemnly of the training they are giving
the younger members of the Lord's family.
The
neglect of parents to train their children makes the work of
the teacher doubly hard. The children bear the stamp of the
unruly, unamiable traits revealed by their parents. Neglected
at home, they regard the discipline of the school as
oppressive and severe. Such children, if not carefully
guarded, will influence other children by their undisciplined,
deformed characters. They practice deception by
misrepresenting their school matters to their parents. They
complain of their teachers and the rules, and parents believe
their testimony before the testimony of Christian teachers who
are seeking to do their duty in the fear of God. Thus the work
of the teacher is made much more taxing than it should be,
because parents have not the truth stamped upon their hearts.
The good that children might receive in school to counteract
their defective home training, is undermined by the sympathy
which their parents show for them in their wrong-doing.
Shall
parents who believe the word of God continue their crooked
management, and confirm in their children their evil
propensities? Fathers and mothers professing the truth for
this time might better come to their senses, and no longer be
partakers in this evil, no longer carry out Satan's devices by
accepting the false testimony of their unconverted children.
It is enough for teachers to have the children's influence to
contend with, without having the parents' influence also.
This
great work is a work that can be done only by the Holy Spirit.
And the Spirit can not do this unless parents welcome Christ
into their hearts as an abiding guest. The Holy Spirit must be
honored in the temple of the soul, where he delights to dwell.
Ellen
Gould White
Review
& Herald 10-02-00
If
we love God and spend time with Him,
our
kids will love us and spend time with us,
for
time with God will change our hearts,
and
we will become to them what God is to us.
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